Just Like That

The earth below me shakes and the head of mine swirls O! Nirabaya O! Zainab  You shake me every day every minute every second.  I spend the sleepless nights  Sometimes in sorrow sometimes gathering courage  Each day I feel your tiny hands your shrieking crying souls. I cannot deny but it bothers me to my bones To feel the piercing pain you must have gone through, Breaching through your heart, your minds and your bodies. I feel so numb and restless for all I can do is  To gather strength to pray for souls like you  For I don’t know how many more Zainabs  will be snatched off of the tiny teddies and toys  For I don’t know how many Nirabayas  Who grew up upright from being the tiny tots To shining bright stars in the sky. Yes I feel you each day yes I feel you every passing night With every passing minute with every passing day!

Sometimes I just sit down still and wish this whole world to come to a stand still. Even it be for a few minutes. I ponder and ponder and then only one thought crosses my mind. What did I do all my life? Why I did this why I did that but then the true confessions will be borne by only that mind which comes to a stand still in a stand still time where we can rewind and re-live those moments. All these debates come across as throughout my life I did mere one thing. A fight, a fight of brain vs. heart. Brain is the apt word because its heart which guides the thoughts and then mind originates from there; the heart itself. But brain word is just apt  for me, may be because I am a medico so I prefer using the anatomical terminology, may be because I know the famous sayings which go around like these ? Heart is where the mind is OR mind is where the heart is OR if you want to know where your heart is look to where your mind is OR to be philosophical 'Om' is where the heart is OR ...

I completed my Medicine from medical school from Kathmandu University Nepal and I thought I gained the epitome of knowledge when I faltered a year before. The work I did in Jivdaya foundation NGO made me realise that how public health roots are more important to be thoroughly understood than to the clinicals. Though I faced difficulty in learning quite a few concepts behind the public health government policies regulation and policies formulation, the best part was to know the technical aspect through finance management and impact evaluation. Sensitivity analysis of the programmes implemented and cost effective and cost benefit analysis of the programmes let us know the depths of impact evaluation. Though public health has not come full blown in our country but one has to realise that public health is backbone to strengthen our frailing health system. This is because public health is not only about data and numbers as is the notion but is much more beyond that.

The warmth you infuse in me & the fragrance you spread along my path, Make the flowers blossom in my life and entangle them to form  garland of love and warmth.       Lets just draw circles in air and bubbles in water,  Lets just breathe the peace in and bathe in the glow of love. My fingers intertwined with yours and all we do day and night is share the joy and laughter. Lets swim in this blue, till the moon lights the sky, May we fly high on the horizons till the birds shy.